December is always the month during which I find myself taking note of what I would have achieved and lost during that past year. Not financially or career-wise, obviously.
I just appreciate the people that I would have gotten to know during that year or those who would have somehow passed through my life for some reason or another. There'd also be the people I'd have lost; the dear ones I loved and miss and those others from whom I'd have drifted apart deliberately. It's the time I congratulate myself for the mini-milestones I'd have achieved and also take note of those others on which I'd still to invest my energy to achieve. December is the month during which I sometimes feel bad for spending too much money on frivolous things which only manage to make me happy for a week or two, but also the time I fondly remember I gave my bit in some way or another, or helped a friend who needed a shoulder to cry on. Nothing out of this world, I know, but I'm all for the "treat others how you want to be treated" philosophy, so there you go.
I'm aware that this might come out to be a bittersweet kind of post but life is made of ups and downs, really, so that's my justification I guess. In my case, I can go through the extremes of complete serenity to feeling betrayed/useless/abandoned in a matter of seconds and that's not healthy, I know. That's me; an impulsive, spontaneous girl who finds something positive in everybody but does not react well to compliments. And who doesn't know how to say no to people with the result of feeling overwhelmed more often than not. I have my flaws; lots of them and I'm meticulous when it comes to explaining my feelings. I give my all to the ones I love and I expect to be respected in return; the basics, really. So I need to work more on my weaknesses or bad habits, but at the same time understand and appreciate that I have my strengths as well because at times I'm too busy criticizing myself that I underestimate myself.
You weren't expecting me to dump all this here, right?! :) Rant over, but I needed to get it out somehow. I hope I didn't upset you or let you down, but I wouldn't know how to hold it all in when writing it down makes me feel so much better. And I'm sure we all feel this way at some point or another, so why not?!
I wish you all the best during this last month of 2015 and even better things for the upcoming year.
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